the bookworms virus is easy to incubate, but be aware squid, it’s a strange illness.
you pile up books as if they could build the safest of castles, eat tea biscuits and gummy teddy bears in inhuman quantity. you’re no longer but made of theine / caffeine and gelatinous matters and get really confused when eight hours have passed.
we inoculate strange superpowers too. ( we basically are time lords so obviously ) such as reading at velocity ∞ or devour [ insert favourite number here ] books in a very short span of time; you might even get the multitasking+reading ability that goes with it!
but as much as it’s cool to have those superpowers, there are side effects. for example, your brain turning into jelly. / melodramatic pause / 😶 messing with you! but books multiplying, anxiety of leaving stories behind, holes to be filled with glue, etcetera all are side effects of the virus.
so, in case you’re either wondering if you have the virus or have enough worms in your brain or if you’re gone completely bananas* here five of the side effects you might have!
* if you are writing a thesis about bookworms, that’s ok too. you will probably leave infected so.
YOU ARE SCARED TO RUN OUT OF BOOKS
this might be the most common symptom of the bookworms virus actually. you get so freakily scared that books magically multiply themselves on your bookshelves. which is a very good thing. let’s have all the books! but as it’s more really wherever there is space, it curiously sounds like dark magic all of sudden. what wonderful addictive dark magic, tough. ❤
— Morgane Knowles (@octopussquirrel) December 12, 2017
books are going to pile up as tall as mountains, threatening to come crash onto you like big waves on a summery night. think scary, somehow romantic– like moonlight+violoncello+heavy rain package. someday archaeologists are going to find the skeletons of us, bookworms, buried six feet underground. be w a r n e d.
be safe, buy more bookshelves*!
* I’m printing this on t-shirts, obviously
YOU HAVE MORE FIRST THAN LAST
yeah, that must be very confusing. I have a curious definition of ‘ first ’ as you can see. let me light up your lanterns! we obviously have the first book we have ever read, then the domino book; the one that gave us the virus now and forever devouring our brains. but these are never the last, right?*
* don’t get teary-eyed, never we will have a last book. eternal creature here.
we have first magical feeling, first beyond perfect, first ‘ put me in a bubble ’ or first [ please fill in, I’m lazy ].
the worms all have their own diseases that either fill your gaps with salty water or melted honey. ( read tears or happiness ) by being scattered in all these different books, there is 98.999% chance that you inoculate multiple times for the first time the same virus. which is why we have more first than last!
send me a note, I don’t think I understand.
YOU BREAK YOUR HEART ONCE IN A WHILE
if you’re looking for a bookworm, you probably won’t find it turning sunlight into green energy with heart-shaped sunglasses on. it’s well known that we shouldn’t release bookworms into the wild, it’s first-degree murder. you most likely will find it buried in a cocoon knitting with blankets; their inside upside-down, heart bloodied at their feet. definition of fun as you can see. but fear not, kraken! we know how to approximately put it back to its place. a little adhesive, some staples. don’t worry, we got this!
just, don’t ask* what is going on, we will burst into tears.
* either way, the answer is ‘ he die on me ’ / ‘ my little bean, what have they done to you! ’ which is weirdly kinda the same to be honest
YOU GET GOOD AT PLANNING MURDERS
we, bookworms, don’t have enough space left to carry people who ask trivial questions while we’re reading. such things like ’ did you eat something? ’ or ’ you are still wearing your pyjama and didn’t move since this morning, do something else! ’
well, of course I didn’t move. I’m in the middle of a war / epic magical adventure here! it isn’t really the time to worry about human things. I’m not in the mood for reality. I ate some squares of chocolate and a packet of tea biscuit anyway. shoo now! leave me be!
know that we love that you care. trust me, we do. that’s what we do best actually– caring and all those bluey stuffs that gets our heart broken.
at this time though, we are most likely planning where to bury your body so that nobody is going to find you ever again. with the many stitches upon our heart, you can understand we don’t keep everybody in. that could be waaaay too messy when we put it back in our chest. save yourself the trouble that we drop out the piece carve at your name, ok? 🙂
YOU TRY TO FIX STORIES
they aren’t playing the way we thought, and it’s so ridiculously upsetting! they have everything to be absolutely everything. such as colourful butterflies with wings sewed of rainbows. magical if you like. but they turned to be actually ugly. fix yourself, story!
nothing I love more than being swept off my feet, of course. but between being astonished or being fall off a airplane with no parachute, there is a difference. because, really, vampires to whom we have throw glitters at isn’t a good plotwist*.
*I’d never drop that. ever.
I’m left then with no choice but rewrite over the memory card. it can be to the smallest details. as little as swapping names or rewrite the all thing with dragons*. wait. not all bookworms do that? 😮 is it a bookworm / writer thing?
* repeat after me: dragons, weirdly cute creature like say tricot or magic can turn ugly thing into rainbow butterfly.
I guess, that’s why there is fanfiction, and let’s be real, to write fanfiction colours.
there is more than these side effects of course, but you’d still be here, reading this, 2132 years from now. ( which I’d be happy with, stay ) you would read my ghost though. wouldn’t it be otherworldly? I might not have spotted all of them or haven’t upgraded to that level of the virus yet, but I keep looking! I should open my skull and shake some worms in there. the more, the merrier!
if you are not part of the bookworms club though, don’t be jealous I’m sure we can find you books with a lot of these little bugs. 🙃
HAVE YOU NOTICES THESE SIDE EFFECTS? OR HAVE SPOTTED DIFFERENT ONES?